


Soap

by midnightsharks



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Body Horror, Gen, Gore, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 09:32:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16890030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightsharks/pseuds/midnightsharks
Summary: Harry makes his own soap because of reasons.





	Soap

**Author's Note:**

> Moving some of my Tumblr fics here cuz you'll never know.

“Harry, you posh fuck.” Eggsy comments as he steps out of the shower. “ I didn’t know you make your own soap.”  
“ Let me tell you a story behind it.” Harry says as he puts down his book and lets Eggsy sit on the sofa  beside him.

  
“You know how it is with our line of work spies. Sometimes we need to properly dispose the bodies to keep our cover.”  
Eggsy nods in agreement and waits for Harry to continue.

  
“  A decade ago, Kingsman hired this guy named Olec to take care of that. He’s acquired connections from all cleaning, toiletries and janitorial agencies.  He was excellent at what he does to the point of being insane. But of course being a bit mad was not an oddity in the organization. ”

  
“So, where was l?” Harry pauses for a bit and goes on with his tale .“ Oh yes, I remember. At that time Kingsman was on a secret war with two terrorist cells. The body count kept on increasing but we had to keep things undercover or else things would become complicated. But that doesn’t seem to be a problem for Olec. ”

  
“ We soon found out how he got rid of them. One day, Percival heard Lancelot, James–the old one, screaming in the shower stalls. Percival  saw James curled up in distress and was pointing at the bar of soap. It had an eyeball sticking out of it.”

  
“ It turned out Olec was recycling the bodies into bars of soap. The one that James used had not been properly processed.”

  
“During interrogation, Olec claimed that he had discovered the fountain of youth. This was achieved by extracting and reusing human parts. In the end, Arthur forced the man to eat all of the soaps til he died.”

  
“Fuck! ” Eggsy , exclaims.“That’s completely fucked up. I mean I understand now why you won’t trust other soaps.”

  
Harry thinks of Olec’s secret formula in his safe and laughs out loud. 

 


End file.
